I Just Want To Wake Up Happy

When asked what I want out of life, a lot of different things come into my mind. When I asked a recent client this question, her response was that she would just like to wake up feeling happy for once. After hearing what her life has been like, it’s not a surprise that she has never had that experience.

I’ll give you all a quick glimpse into what her life is like. I’ve changed her name and some small details to protect her identity. "Roberta" is originally from Pennsylvania, where she suffered serious head trauma at a young age. Molested by her brother growing up and physically abused by her father, she dropped out of school at age 16, when her father died, to work and help support her family. Her first drink of alcohol came the day after her father’s death. Marijuana came next, followed by cocaine and heroin.

Unfortunately, her story doesn’t have a Lifetime Television ending. There are no miracles or saving graces. Julia Roberts will not portray her on any screen. Roberta now lives in a trailer in Camden with no running water. Her "boyfriend" with whom she lives makes her prostitute herself for money to pay for his drugs. When asked if he ever abuses her she said "no." When I asked if he ever hurt her, she said "sometimes he gets angry." When I finally asked if he ever hits her she said "yes, he punches me when he’s upset." But she doesn’t consider this abuse.

Roberta is 37 years old. She looks like she’s about 55. There are so many things that I’d like to happen next. So many issues to address. So many challenges. So many barriers. So much potential. So much life still in her, despite everything that’s happened.

My first step is just to get her to come back to the office to see me again. My second step is for me to view her as a wonderful person. Despite all my education and experience, I still sometimes first look at a person as a laundry list of issues and disorders. But she’s not. She’s simply and wonderfully human. I don’t know yet what the third step will be.

Eventually, I hope that when she does "wake up happy" for possibly the first time in her life, that she’ll be able to recognize it.